Be Present: Your (Best) Life Depends on It

"Presence" (noun): The state of being fully engaged and attentive in the current moment, free from distractions, assumptions, or preconceptions; the ability to observe acutely without judgment, and respond with clarity and purpose.

What if your life depended on being present?

It does for the Navy SEALS. When they train, they are blindfolded, then abruptly placed in high-pressure or unfamiliar environments to test their ability to assess and respond effectively under stress.* The purpose is to:

• Develop focus: Candidates must immediately analyze their surroundings and act decisively without becoming overwhelmed.

• Test adaptability: SEALs must be prepared for unexpected and rapidly changing situations in real-world missions.

• Enhance stress tolerance: These scenarios build resilience, teaching candidates to remain calm and resourceful even in chaotic or unpredictable conditions.

*see "How to Handle Stress Like a Navy SEAL" by Master Coach Lyssa deHart.

Have you ever faced a challenge so daunting it forced you to reevaluate not just your approach but how you show up entirely? Recently, I took an exam that most people will never encounter—a rigorous test for professional coaches. Yet, the lessons I learned preparing for it extend far beyond coaching and studying. They touch on something universal: the power of being fully present, embracing challenges as opportunities, and tapping into the wisdom that resides within us. Whether you’re navigating a career shift, a relationship, or just trying to find balance in a chaotic world, what I’m about to share may resonate with you more than you think.

When I first considered taking the ICF exam which is the basis for PCC/MCC accreditation, I assumed it would be fairly straightforward. I’ve been coaching, facilitating, and mentoring individuals, executives, and teams on a wide variety of topics for many years. Over the past year, I completed two rigorous ICF-based certification courses in Life Coaching and Organizational Development Coaching and received mentor coaching to certify and refine my skills further.

Having aced many standardized exams over the years, I thought, How hard could it be to study the ICF Code of Ethics and Core Competencies, then pass this test?

The answer: extremely hard.

This is no ordinary exam. No amount of rote memorization will carry you through. Why?

The exam presents 78 lengthy detailed scenarios, each requiring you to select the best and worst coaching responses. You have just one minute per question, and the responses are nuanced, often hinging on the placement of a single word. Adding to the challenge, there are only eight example questions available on the ICF website, and the exam itself is cloaked in mystery: there are no retired questions or study banks, and even those who have taken the test cannot review their specific results. It’s far too nuanced to memorize or hack for future attempts.

This is not the SAT. I’ve heard of doctors and attorneys who’ve taken and failed the ICF exam saying it was harder than the MCAT or LSAT.

When I realized how elusive this exam was, I honestly became a bit resentful. Hadn’t I been coaching successfully? Hadn’t I done all the right things? Why make it so hard?

After some research, I signed up for a preparatory program offered by Lyssa deHart, Master Certified Coach and mentor, who completely reframed my mindset.

Reframing the Challenge

What I learned from Lyssa was that this exam is designed to deepen your experiential understanding of coaching. To achieve that, you must first internalize the ICF framework, Code of Ethics, and Core Competencies on a "bone-deep" level. This means practicing them daily, not only in real-life coaching sessions but also through written scenarios of varying complexity.

By the way, coaching isn’t about solving people’s problems—it’s about partnering with clients to uncover and trust their own unique wisdom. To do this effectively—and to approach the exam successfully—you must master the art of being fully present.

This realization changed everything for me.

I began to see that the exam isn’t about memorizing the single “right” answer. Instead, it’s about understanding on an experiential-level the reasoning behind each choice. It’s about staying present, listening actively, and evoking awareness and using sound judgment in every scenario.

Training for Presence

Lyssa makes the comparison of this unique exam to the Navy SEALs’ training in that with each new scenario, it is like having the blindfold removed, then the coach/candidate’s ability to assess and respond effectively under stress is tested. Successfully passing the ICF exam requires:

1. Deep knowledge and experience of the ICF’s guidelines for best practices.

2. Respect for the client’s wisdom, and a genuine partnership that honors their unique journey.

3. Presence. The ability to remain calm, flexible, and focused on the immediate situation, observing and responding without letting past or future concerns cloud judgment.

In the weeks prior to the exam, I intensified my mindfulness practice, and applying presence and awareness to every interaction. A few weeks in, when my college-aged child came home for the holidays, I consciously set aside assumptions about their initial withdrawal, observed with curiosity, and allowed them to steer the direction of any conversations. The result? A deeply bonding discussion that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

Sitting for the Exam

By the time I sat down at the test center, I embodied presence. I treated each test scenario as an opportunity to practice the core competencies in real-time. I stayed in the flow, releasing attachment to whether my answers were right.

When I clicked “Submit” at the end, I truly didn’t know if I’d passed. And yet, I felt peace. If I passed, I would continue to apply what I’d learned, practice and grow as a coach. If I didn’t, I would do just the same. But… I did pass, with flying colors!

And if I had to name one reason why, it would be Presence. Not just understanding its value, but living it—while studying, while coaching, and while taking the exam, and all the moments in between.

The Gift of Presence

If you’re a coach considering credentialing, I wholeheartedly recommend the ICF path. It sets the gold standard for rigor, ethics, and proven methodologies. And if you’re preparing for the exam, Lyssa deHart’s program is an invaluable resource.

But coach or not, this process—rooted in presence, openness, and awareness—offers a powerful framework for navigating any and all of life’s complexities. By focusing on the moment at hand, setting aside distractions, and embracing a mindset of “not knowing,” we allow ourselves to respond with clarity and purpose. Being present invites us to set aside assumptions and stay curious, listen deeply and engage with the situation as it unfolds rather than imposing preconceived notions about how life is “supposed” to go. Whether you’re tackling a major project, having a difficult conversation, or navigating a busy day, the practice of being present creates space for authentic solutions to emerge. Just as this approach helped me succeed in a high-pressure exam, it can guide us to deeper connections, better decisions, and more meaningful experiences in every area of life.

As you navigate pivotal phases of life—such as advancing your career, balancing work and personal growth, or starting a new chapter in your personal life—remember that presence is transformative not only in the big events but in the everyday interactions that collectively define your path.

But I will venture further that presence isn’t just a “nice-to-have.”  To live your best life, being truly present is critical. Life is a series of present moments, and yet too often, we bring in the baggage, the fixed mindset of past experiences. How many times have we said or thought "I know how this goes" or "It's the same old story."

Are you unknowingly repeating the same patterns by letting limiting beliefs and past experiences define your present? Your best life begins when you release preconceptions and embrace what’s truly here, in the now. Only through presence can you unlock the infinite possibilities of your future.

It takes courage and commitment to show up fully for yourself and your journey. If you want to develop the mindset for clarity, growth, for living your best potential, coaching can help. Contact Star Power Coaching for a free discovery call and explore how one-on-one coaching can benefit you.